Dear 2016...

fuck you! Seriously, I can't think of a time I was more excited for a year to end and from the rumblings I hear from others around me, this is a shared sentiment. This was the year that convinced me that maybe ignorance (in very specific forms) really is bliss. I have always believed in the importance of staying up to date with current events, but now I am wondering if the psychological trauma of paying attention to the happenings of the modern world may just be too overwhelming to handle. It seems like you couldn't read the news without hearing about another senseless killing, ecological disaster, or the surprising upswing, around the globe, in right wing nationalism.

It is my hope that 2017 is a year of clear vision. That rather than simply attacking the godheads of the cultural sickness we call capitalism, people will begin to see that the change we need is culture wide. We, as a culture, are completely out of sync with reality and it is our greed and need for consumption that has led to the creation of those who will soon be in power. We need to recognize that regardless of how we voted, we, as a people, have created the mess we are in. I hope for compassion among all humans, and I hope that this compassion can grow to encompass the rest of the living world. In the end, we will all die and someday the planet will likely cease to support life, but let's not rush this demise. Instead, let's embrace life and again be re-enchanted by things like biodiversity. Let's listen to the sounds of bird song, the wind in the trees, the laughter of children and let these be the music that guides us forward.

On a personal level, this year kicked my ass too. Very big life decisions, which I thought would be positive, turned out to have a more detrimental effect on my life, at least in the present. The problem with making decisions that you later regret is that sometimes the momentum of change isn't something that can be stopped. You just have to hold on and pray that you come out alive on the other end. That's what I am doing now. I am ending the year lonely and heartbroken. There was an amazing lost of connection caused by a change in geography. Luckily, I have made a few new friends who have lent the year a spark of hope.

For myself, I hope that 2017 is a year of deep learning and listening. I hope to continue the growth that I have recently undergone and I hope to find more love in the people who are around me. I want to again feel that it is safe to move through the world with a heart overflowing with love. As well, I hope to continue my growing friendship with the more-than-human world. I want to gain a deeper intimacy with the places I dwell and the plants and animals who are my neighbors.

Good luck to everyone in 2017. My fingers are crossed for all of us.

Photos from the Umlauf Sculpture Gardens, Austin, TX.

 It is quite strange to watch your mother look at a sculpture of a mother and her baby son. It's like looking into a mirror that reflects what once was and will never be again.

The son of god has a moth

living in between his ribs.