2/26/16

"Trust God and do the next thing."-from a bumper sticker I saw today.

The spiders are laying eggs in the corners of my room.  If I leave them to hatch, my room will
be infested with spiders come Spring.  If I move them, they will likely die.  This, for me, is a moral
dilemma.  I truly respect spiders and try my best to treat them right; for me they carry mythological weight.

As I write this there is a very pissed off hornet somewhere in my room.  I'll admit that stinging insects
scare me a little.  It is February 26th and the flying insects shouldn't be out and active right now.  The weather conditions should not be right this early in the year but they are and here are the winged insects.  The world is changing right in front of us and most people are afraid to look.

Sometimes at night I hear coyotes chirping, sometimes the deer circle my room grazing.  A few days ago, I stumbled from my room in the middle of the day and startled two yearlings chomping on the grass.  One exploded into the woods, the other started, stopped and stared back at me.

I am quite lonely and under a lot of stress but luckily I have my little cabin to keep me safe.

Reflection

When we were in our 20's we all talked so much about community. Now we don't even communicate with one another except for an awkward email here and there.  We were all so young and full of shit and we didn't even know it.  We thought we had high ideals and now here I am, sitting in the same place I have always been, only now, I am alone.  Nearly everyone else has moved on and I just have to say, I miss you all.